Cray Cray Craze.

We're all going crazy.

I love this blog. I love to have a place to say the things I deem necessary without having to bore the people who don't really care what I have to say.

I've been working on a new project lately and it's been draining me emotionally, financially and physically. I fell for a guy who is too complicated to fall for, which put me at a stalemate. I made a few new friends who I already foresee being good friends. I've been networking like my life depended on it and now I know everyone from bands/directors/actors/writers/artists to the guy who owns a taco truck downtown. Not a portable brothel but an actual taco truck.

So that's the synopsis of the last month. Cliff notes, if you will. I've been thinking a lot lately, and every time I do that "thinking" thing I tend to get annoyed with myself more and more.

I was a complete jerk last night to someone. I apologized, but I still feel like a jerk. I let all of my recent frustrations just build and build and poor N. got the brunt of it. Everyone I know has been super stressed lately and I think we're all edging, but not in the good way. We're all wading in the deep end of the pool and our arm floaties keep getting closer and closer to our wrists.. and if we don't learn how to grow gills we're all gonna drown, pulling the others down with us. I don't like drowning. It's not really my thing. I'd prefer not to, if I can help it.

So how do we make like Kevin Costner? Been thinking about it a lot and honestly, communication is the only answer that really comes to the forefront.

If you can communicate how you TRULY feel about something (not how you feel at the "moment of impact".. it's better to give it a cool down period before you make the mistake of being hateful and talking out of your ass) but if you can openly and honestly communicate your feelings and the other person can do the same, then I feel like you can take on any change.. welcome it even.

So what do you do when someone fails to reciprocate the honest communication? Drop them like a hot potato and keep moving forward. Anyone who can't communicate with you is essentially holding you back as a person. If they can't for whatever reason, be an honest communicator (ie: plays games, holds you at bay, tells white lies, tells big honkin' black? lies... whatever) then they are not helping you become a better person.. well, they may be, but that really depends on the strength of your resolve. I'm an obstinate person. "Tell me I can't and I'll show you I can"  type. I'm the chick you don't challenge. So if you prefer to learn the hard way (better known as the tedious and treacherous path of heartbreak, misplaced trust and loss of faith in humanity) then yes, they are helping you.. everyone needs a little heartbreak so they can appreciate the true love junk.. but not abusive and constantly terrible situations. That wears on you after awhile. So be the best version of yourself by surrounding yourself with people who can really stick with it, help each other through the sand trap and cheer once everyone has made it to the other side.

I'm gonna try to do the same.. but to do that I really need to restore my faith in humanity by placing my trust in another human being and hope they don't crush me with everything they've got.. and if they do, I'll keep going until I meet the exception to the rule.


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