What Have I Learned?

I just got done watching "The Social Network" and from my own experience combined with that I have learned three things.

  • First off, nobody is as serious about your passion as you are..
  • Secondly, if you're smarter than most of the people you know, they tend to alienate you for it.
  • Lastly, you can never know how a scenario will play out... because people change, their intentions change, and their motives.
Have you ever felt like you were running a dead end race? I feel like that everyday, and technically, you are, if you see life as a race.. I guess I do in a way, but not really. No, let me rephrase, it is a race. But you can choose to ignore the race, and go at your own pace. Not that you will get anywhere in life that way...

Something else I learned tonight, its important to be there first, to get the prize.

I don't know how many people will read this, hopefully a million or so haha, but in reality, maybe 10. Ridiculous. I dont do things just to do them , I do them for recognition and to prove wrong my doubts (and everyone else's too I suppose) about the things I can accomplish.

I would love nothing more than to be successful, to be recognized for the things Ive done.. I am so tired of feeling like Im not making a contribution to the world. How can I? Can I?

Ive been asking myself the same questions all my life and its truly gotten me nowhere. Im right back where I left off 10 years ago.

How does that even happen? Do you understand how depressing that truly is?

Why am I not in another country, solving human rights issues? Why am I not more important than I am?

I know this all sounds a bit narcissistic of me, but doesnt everyone feel that way?

Why am I not some amazing astrophysicist or astronaut for that matter? Id love to be. Why am I not? What do I need to do? Do I really wanna risk my life for the opportunity to see the stars up close? Yes. No. Sorta.

Then I get to the part of me that goes "But you have nobody to share your victory with, because everyone alienates you in one way or another." Ive got my dog, but sadly I will outlive him... Maybe not, if I was an astronaut.. lol

See how my mind works? Sad. I know.

I just have so many aspirations in life, its hard to pick just one. I do know I have to contribute something more than this. Anything.

When wil it be my time to shine?


Unknown said…
People have problems understanding why I have no favorite color, or favorite food, etc. I explain that it's because they all have very valuable properties...and each one has an opportunity to be suitable for each use. There's a process of elimination by the ways of weighing out options of pro's and con's to make each individual decision.

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