Weird Science

Ok first off, I'm sure you have all heard of the galactic drift... so you know things can move in space just naturally...

WELL... i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but looks like the Andromeda Galaxy (the closest galaxy to our own) is a galactic cannibal... recently a few astronomers were checkin out this bad boy with some pretty powerful telescopes and found the remains of other galaxies, still being digested into Andromeda.

And if that wasn't the best news you've heard all morning... we're next. We're being pulled into Andromeda at 75mps (miles per second)... But it'll be a few billion years... so if our reality starts collapsing, you know why.. Hopefully by then humanity will have figured out intergalactic travel, or at least meet another alien race who has and is willing to help...

So thats it for the first bit..

Now, hold onto your panties... Japan's next first lady Miyuki Hatoyama, claims she was abducted by aliens and taken to Venus. Now, I'm not one to discount things of this nature, but I think she was astral projecting or lucid dreaming.. and even so, i suppose if you were astral projecting it would explain the differences in the scenes... see look... here is what she had to say -

"While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus. It was a very beautiful place and it was really green."

Now my only objection to that would be:

"Venus is really fucking close to the sun, you silly broad. There can be no vegetation in that hot of a climate... maybe you went back in time before Venus was so close, or maybe a dimension you can only reach in your sleep-state astral body, where it could be anything you want it to be... but.. you make women sound like ignoramuses and you have quite possibly set the scientific world even more against dreams than they have been previously. Which is sad because dreams are just as much reality as being awake is... "

And last but not least, Killer Klowns from Outer Space? Not so much... but something of the sort... one of my favorite visionaries and artists... billionaire & Cirque du Soleil founder Guy Laliberte is set to launch into space as the world's seventh space tourist.

How much does a ticket like that run you? A paltry $35 million.

During his 11-day trip, Guy will broadcast the "first ever widely acknowledged artistic performance from space," according to OK, so there won't be any clowns, but Laliberte will take part in a reading of a "poetic fairy tale" he wrote to promote clean-water access and water conservation.

Stay tuned for more unique junk!

Jessica Cha


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